Girl in a boys' world - or how I became a vicious soccer Mom

I never thought I'd be a soccer Mom- not that there's anything wrong with that! But it wasn't something I pictured my girls doing or myself enjoying.  Well, I'll be the first to admit when I'm wrong and man was I wrong! Younger daughter decided to play soccer and its only taken two games for me to turn in to vicious soccer Mom.  Today's game was against an all boys team - and younger daughter is one of only four girls on a co-Ed team of mostly boys.  Her teammates are great and very accepting of having the girls on the team and they all play well together.

The other teams players? Not always so much.  Today I heard a nine year old boy on the other team say- "you can get past her, she's just a girl" , and bam- vicious soccer mom was born!  I've always taught my daughters that they can do anything if they want to, put their mind to it and are willing to put in the work.  Today, I saw that in action as that same boy learned how " just a girl" stands her ground. Because that girl and that boy collided and that girl dropped a shoulder and that boy was left on the ground in confusion while that girl, MY girl, stood her ground .  So I learned a few things today ... 1. Chauvinism starts early 2. My kids may actually listen to me 3. I may or may not be overly aggressive at cheering 4. I have a vicious streak a mile wide when it comes to my kids

And I hope that little boy learned something today too- because " just a girl" doesn't even apply to my girls.  They are fierce , strong and fearless - so that boy better be prepared for a future of confusion unless he figures it out pretty quick.  Because girls, not just my girls, but this generation of girls are ready to rule the world.  And I'll bet they will be even more vicious when their kids are playing! 

The Perfect Match- George Takei and Amazon.com

I was on Facebook earlier and George Takei posted a review that he put up on Amazon.com for the Mountain Three Wolf Moon tee which was completely hilarious!  And while I can't even begin to approach the genius of his and many of the other 2900+ reviews that somehow all involved Walmart, pick up trucks and "the ladies", it did make me think of what I would review for fun. 

Awhile back, I posted a picture of something I thought was absolutely appealing that I found on Amazon.com.  Whimsical, wacky and let's not mince words, cuckoo- a rubber chicken purse is the perfect fake review topic in my humble opinion. 

Because how can you not just love it?  And how well does it lend itself to mockery and sarcasm?  Pretty damn well, I say! 

 

 

Top Ten Reasons This Rubber Chicken Purse Rocks and you NEED to have it:

 

10. It has wattles.

 

9.  Textured feathers- that is some fine craftmanship right there!

 

8.` Have you ever seen such a cute stubby tailfeather?

 

7. `Comes in handy to prevent unwelcome company on the bus- " I'm sorry, you can't sit there- my pet chicken Geraldo needs that seat" because they'll either respect Geraldo's rights, or think you're batshit crazy- either way, mission managed!

 

6. `Rubber chickens need good homes too!

 

5.  Bright red handles, baby!

 

4. `Easy way to ask someone in a meeting if they want chicken for lunch- no more handwritten signs held up against a conference room window! What?!! I can't be the only one who does that!

 

3. Capable of storing the leftover lunch chicken without absorbing the smell

 

2. `Who doesn't love a beady eyed purse?

 

and the number one reason this purse is the bomb.com/awesome?

 

1. " I'll peck your eyes out" no longer a random threat- have you seen the beak on this thing?  You are now appropriately equipped!

 



Thank you Uncle George for the inspiration!

Sultan Peppah the Chess set ( why public libraries are awesome!)

Some people go to church to reflect and have a peaceful moment, others turn to nature, still others, unhealthier pursuits.  When I need a moment, I go to one of two places...1. a museum or 2. the Cleveland Public Library downtown.  It is like a museum and a library in one.  Beautiful, peaceful, and restoring.  I went the other day at lunch time and here is what my soul drank in.

The picture above is the special collections room which includes art exhibits as well.  One of my favorites is that they have chess sets from different periods including this contemporary set which made me giggle.

 

Thank you Will Braden, Beth and the Internet for Henri, The Existentialist Cat

Not a real post, but my best friend Beth turned me on to the genius of Will Braden and Henri, Le Chat Noir. 

LOVE LOVE LOVE it!!  Be sure your volume is turned up, the music and French narration are perfection, as are the subtitles.  Enjoy!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A Day of New Beginnings

Today is a day of new beginnings.  Easter, Spring, and the end of a long period of bluck.  As many of you who have read my blog for a while know, my father passed away suddenly in December.  On 12-12-12 to be exact.  And I wanted to blog about his death and funeral and share all of the inherent humor in what was a typical Dad situation.  But I just couldn't do it.  I couldn't write the words.  Or any words.  But after three months of dealing with the aftermath of his death, and cleaning out a house and dealing with the finances, today- today there was a new beginning. 

My Mom came home after being 1. on vacation 2. in the hospital 3. in rehab 4. in assisted living 5. at my house 6. at my sister's house.  And we had Easter dinner with all of our remaining family around my Mom's table.  And it was awesome! 

So here is the story of how we got here.  My Dad died in a tragic lumberjack accident.  He wasn't a lumberjack, nor was he ever a lumberjack.  And yet, at 73 years old he was crushed to death by a tree.  And I know that some people will find it macabre that I find the humor in it.  That my Dad's last words on this earth were most likely "Oh FUCK!" and that I find that incredibly funny and totally appropos.  My Dad was the first person who would have appreciated the way things went down.  Well, the tree went down.  On his head.  And he is somewhere laughing his ass off.

So for his funeral, I cried only for a minute, because I was busy celebrating the garden club meets Sons of Anarchy scene and the looks on peoples faces when I played the Dropkick Murphys version of Amazing Grace.  The look that said- that is sooo L.T. and how amazing that was. And I found a reading that expressed what I felt perfectly. I apologize I can't recall the author.

If I should die before the rest of you
Break not a flower nor inscribe a stone
Nor, when I'm gone, speak in a Sunday voice,
But be the usual selves that I have known.
Weep if you must
Parting is hell.
But life goes on.
So sing as well.


So today, today I am singing.  Because the time for new beginnings has come.  And I am joyful.
 

A December to remember and not in a good way- and yet, there is still joy

I am feeling very lucky today.  I didn't start out that way, I was actually kind of having a bit of a pity party.  Because my December- it seriously sucked.  I don't mean, "Gosh, the holidays are busy and stressful" sucked, I mean gut wrenching, soul searing sucked.

Not making a play for said pity, but here is what my December looked like:

1. My Dad died in a tragic lumberjack accident on 12-12-12. ( not trying to be funny-or maybe only a little- my Dad was crushed to death by a tree) I actually have a whole post about that- for another day

2. I invited my Mom along on the vacation my family and my sister's family have planned for the last two years to go to Disney on 12-23-12 so she wouldn't be alone

3. 12-22-12 my 8 year old came down with a "little cold" or so we believed

4. 12-24-12 my husband becomes the first of the 7 other people on the trip to succumb to the vicious plague my germy girl transported to Florida.  Disney is now the snottiest place on earth

5. 12-25-12 most of the rest of us become plague stricken and remained so for the duration of our two week vacation.

In January, we flew back home on 1-5-13 with my older daughter in horrible pain from what turns out to be a double ear infection, my Mom completely ill, and four other adults with horrible hacking coughs. 

Our final total- four cases of bronchitis, one double ear infection and one case of pneumonia.  Yes, my poor Mom is in the hospital with pneumonia. 

And how exactly did I mange to get from all of that to feeling lucky?

Because I have the best friends in the world.  My Mom has two dogs and has been worried since they have been in the kennel during our disaster Disney vacation and since she's been in the hospital.  I cannot have the dogs and put out a general call for help on Facebook looking for anyone who knew someone who could foster the dogs for a little while.  Within three minutes, my friend Alice called me and said she'd take the dogs. 

I got the dogs and took them to Alice's today and my other friend Beth came over with lunch and we had a great visit and basically support session for me.  I am thankful and I am grateful to have such wonderful friends who support me and prop me up when I need it.   I truly can take a breath even in the midst of the shit storm that is still going on because of the grace of good friends.  And my online friends in Facebook-ville have also been a huge source of support and comfort.  So yes, I am lucky.  I am fortunate.  I still have joy because I have friends who see me through.  And that is something to remember.

Blank White Wall

Every time I have started a post in the past few months, I have deleted it, stared at the blank white wall of space and closed the page with a sigh. 

So this post, long waiting to become, is just a stream of conciousness post because I NEED to write.  I have been beating myself up that the posts were not good enough and for not writing and I decided I can't have it both ways, so here goes!

1.  Candy season came really early this year- like September early and I have apparently infected my entire department and am working on the whole floor.  So I am blaming the writers block on the sugar clogging the blood vessels to my brain. And everyone at work is blaming me for the sugar addiction.  Guilty as charged.

2. I have photgraphic evidence that Jesus is sparkly- from of all places- Amish country!!

(if you're new- I do actually think Jesus is sparkly and no it has nothing to do with Twilight- I just think that if you imagined the best representation ever-sparkly!)

 

 

And also, on the secular side- it's a very Thor Christmas:

 

 

 

 

I missed writing so much,  I have no idea how I made it through the past few months.  It's not profound, it's not even very good, but it's here and I'm back!  So if for some reason I don't post anything else before I leave for vacation- Happy whatever you celebrate!    We're going to visit the Mouse down South and in his words..."see you real soon!"