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Friday, July 4, 2014

Happy blow things up and drink beer birthday, Murica!!

Today is the day that we in America celebrate winning our freedom from tyrannical rule by England.  Because they charged us way too much in taxes and told us what to do, basically. Americans today...are charged way too much in taxes and are legislated and told what to do, but at least we have our own cool holiday which involves barbecue, beer(if you so choose) explosives and glitter!!! 

These are a few of my favorite things...

 When the grill lights, when the beer's cold, when you're in the mood
Just simply remember to blow up the sky
And really enjoy your food! 

Okay, now that you have The Sound of Music stuck in you head , let me tell you a little story about a girl and her fireworks.  I love fireworks- it's almost a mania.  I get into a fireworks store and it is like the greediest kid in the biggest candy store. My eyes light up, I go into a frenzy and I carry as much as I can hold in addition to whatever my family is willing to haul for me.  If it shoots fireballs and glitter or zings around the yard or blows up in sparks, I have to have it. HAVE to have- and god help anyone who tries to stand in my way at that point in time.  A crackhead looking for a fix has nothing on me in a fireworks store!  Our recent trip resulted in a massive amount of fireworks - cannons that shoot 70 fireballs and glitter, Roman candles the size or my arm, big mortar shell chrysanthemums, four kinds of sparklers, colored glitter goes on and on.  But I live in Ohio where it's only legal to buy fireworks, but illegal to set them off.  So, we gotta make a run for the border! 

On a more serious note, I don't want to minimize that America is the land of the free, that we  are afforded more freedom and opportunity and standard of living than anywhere else in the world.  I have friends from Japan and India and China and Pakistan and without exception, they have told me how very fortunate we are here, how much opportunity there is and how wonderful it is to be here.  That's not to say that there aren't many beautiful and wonderful places in the world, or that I think that America is morally superior or above all others in the world- we certainly have many problems in our country. I just think that we are lucky in so many ways and we should realize that and celebrate it.  I, for one am going to celebrate by giddily blowing things up somewhere across state lines and toasting to the country that, for all it's imperfections, I love.  Happy Birfday Murica!

Wednesday, May 28, 2014

I'm writing a book...sort of...well I have characters...and ideas...and some of it's even written down

I've wanted to write a book for a long time.  I've actually " written " several books inside my head.  But committing it to paper (or print electronically) is like saying that I'm really doing this, I'm trying, I'm serious this time -I'm a writer!! Or I'm going to really try to be!  The book I'm working on is inspired by my book club- a group of not so typical suburban ladies with a lot of surprises behind the facades of what you think you know about people.  So far I have one character who insists on having a pill problem, even though that will mean all kinds of research! She just won't back off it- it's really terrible ! So what I'm trying to say here tonight is that I am putting a stake in the sand and saying it- I am a writer and I am writing a book!!! Oh my GOD, I am writing a book! It may not be a great book, it may take me a year to write it, but in front of the internet I am proclaiming it- I am writing a book.  That was really scary. That is all.

Thursday, March 13, 2014

I finally made a will, in which I might have mentioned a lobster and ACDC

Writing a will is one of those things that you really should do- especially when you have kids, because let's face it- you really want to pick which of your crazy relatives get the darlings if you kick the bucket, right? Well I've been meaning to do that and today I finally did!  Just an on-line create a will thing, but once I get it witnessed.  I find it very challenging to do grown up kinds of things, so I may have been a little creative in my terminology and last wishes.

My current situation calls for a little creativity though , since I am divorced but reunited with my ex husband.  So I was a little stumped on what to call him in the will.  I finally settled on " I appoint Michael, my Lobster , as my representative... Because that's what we call each other.  Like Phoebe said on Friends, which if you watched Friends ,you know , and if you didn't ,it's too long to explain and I can't find a good link.  Anyway...

Also, I may have added the following additional instructions: (okay I definitely did)

I will require the following songs to be played at a memorial service : Amazing Grace- Dropkick Murphys version, It's the End of the World as we Know it- REM, Highway to Hell- ACDC. There should  be alcohol and cake as well as any additional food my surviving family sees fit, probably bacon. Also, my ashes should be split into small bags for my family and friends who wish to participate in my travelling funeral and I ask that they take me with them when they go somewhere cool and sprinkle a little of me there.

I assume that I will make a new one since this may call in to question the soundness of my mind, but then anyone who knew me will know that's about as sound as I get, so maybe not- maybe if it were all serious, no one would believe it was really my will and then it would be stuck in the courts for years and nobody would get any of the special bequests I put in there... No spoilers, you'll just have to wait and see what you get! And that's both a threat and a promise! 

Sunday, February 23, 2014

UPDATED- About Time- or why a skinny ginger English guy can bag Rachel McAdams

 UPDATE- a warning label/ disclaimer/ I wrote this last night while high on Ambien but still unable to sleep , so if it doesn't make exact sense, that would be why! You've been warned...- We watched the movie About Time last weekend and it was one of those where you weren't 100% sure you liked it because it moved sort of slow until suddenly you LOVED it because it got there and somehow managed to  you with it... Know what I mean?  It was charming, amusing , touching, and heart rending , while being uplifting and ever so slightly raunchy.  In other words- utter perfection! And I won't say any more about the movie to give anything away, but it did give me some crystal clear moments of pure love and joy with my littler daughter that I otherwise surely would have missed .  I encourage you to watch this movie and take from it the wonderful messages that I did- it will make your life better and more filled with joy- and who couldn't use that? Also on a side note- totally awesome soundtrack.  I am not a paid endorser of the film- just a happy advocate of a movie that makes you think about it - and act.  Cheerio, my friends! 

Sunday, February 16, 2014

Israel?? Is that really you?

Just a short note - because I love to see where people may be reading from and I noticed that Israel has 770 hits on my page this week? Really??!!!! I was shocked and thrilled!!  And curious- my entire blog's history had maybe 200 hits from Israel and now there's 770 this week alone?  Pretty impressive stats you're throwing there... I LIKE it!! Keep talking me up in temple folks! I'll be here all week,  try the beef! 

I'm too lazy for this blog, too lazy for the car on the catwalk!!!

I'm too sexy for this car, too sexy for this car oh that's where we are!!!!!  Okay, that is enough of Right Said Fred for today.  I was just thinking about blogging about my new lamp and I realized that I am far too lazy to go downstairs to get a picture of it, which made me think/sing that song in my head.  It's an awesome lamp, beautiful and just the right amount of hip- not too painfully trendy, but a slight ironic nod to yesteryear.  It's a gourd shaped, mercury glass base with a retro shade.  Or, if you're my fourteen year old, apparently, it's a bong lamp!! Didn't even occur to me when we were buying it that it does indeed look like a giant water bong - which delights me on the one aspect- well, we're totally cool!  And then there's the thought of  " how the hell does my fourteen year old know what a bong looks like?!!!!" And then I sit next to the lamp feeling suddenly chilled out and realize that social media has made it possible to see a bong in virtual reality, no contact buzz needed.  Thank you Miley Cyrus for that!  And so many other things I won't detail here.  So I choose to believe that my girl is just differently educated than her dear old Mom by virtue of her generations exposure to Twitter and Instagram.  That is my story and I'm sticking with it!  Until I see seeds and stems floating in it, that is what I'm going with! So, now I just need to figure out how to get some water in, kidding!!! I'm far too lazy to DIY it! 

Wednesday, January 8, 2014

2014- It's got to be better!

Hey there!  Long time no see me, I know! So 2013 was a very eventful year...and I had about zero energy for anything other than just trying to get through each day.  Here are all the things that 2013 brought:

1. Dealing with my Dad's sudden death ( a leftover from Dec 2012- he died on 12-12-12)
2. Getting through the Disney vacation of Doom
3. Fear of my Mom dying, as she came back from vacation of doom with pneumonia
4. Coping with managing my Mom's care while while working full time, two hours away
5. Cleaning out my parents hoarder home- with lots of help, thankfully
6. Divorce
7. Moving
8. Job stress
9. New job
10. Dating
11. Reconciliation
12. Another move

So technically, I should be dead! If you believe the stress indicators mumbo jumbo, my head should have exploded at about number 6 on the list.  And I am- and my relationship with my once and future husband has never been better.  Sometimes there is nothing like losing it all to realize and appreciate what you had.  I am incredibly fortunate to have had a transition through this all with the support of my "lobster" ( Friends reference)  who had grace and dignity and kindness when by all rights he should have been bitter and nasty and mean, but that just goes to show you- sometimes you don't really know everything about someone until they are pushed all the way to the wall.  I learned a lot in 2013 about human nature in general, myself, my family and love.  I would never want to repeat it, but I do believe we've come out the better for it on the other side.  Although there are some relationships that may never be fully mended after the events of the past year, the opportunity is there and for that I am grateful.  For my friends who have whiplash after watching me this past year, I thank you for not telling me I'm crazy and for supporting and loving me anyway! So far, 2014 is a nice change from last year and I'm looking forward to a much more peaceful new year.  Wishing all of you and yours a joyous and low stress 2014!