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Saturday, January 9, 2016

Mustfasa the Magnificent

Do you ever have one of those days where you wonder what the hell you're doing here? Like, you're working and living and loving your family, but what are you really DOING here? Today is one of those for me.  Aside from enjoying myself greatly with friends and family and hopefully spreading about positivity and joy, what am I bringing to the table?  One moment in the recent past made me feel good and alive and purposeful, and powerful in that moment in helping a fellow human being on this earth.   I'll spare you the entire story, but it began with a night out on the town and it ended with taking a homeless man to the casino.  And it hurt my heart to see this man petrified to go in to a bar to have a beer, or saying "that isn't a place for people like me" ; he wasn't dirty or unkempt in any way but he still felt as though he couldn't go to these places.  It was my mission for the evening to make him see the good human he is inside and that he was worth as much as any person he could see regardless of his circumstances.  The disbelief in his eyes when I told him that he was coming with us and the hope in his eyes as he realized that someone was going to treat him like a regular person was staggering.  I had to hug him!  And he said that was the first hug he'd had in over a year- can you imagine going a year without a hug?  And I spent the whole evening in the casino talking to this man and convincing him of his inherent worth and telling him not to ever let anyone make him feel less than.  And it was exhilarating! And I want to do more of that! So how do I do that without being drunk at the casino every night? Any ideas internets?  Because I want to make a difference , I want to change people's lives , I want that exhilaration of doing good things for someone else. And I hope and I hope that that man, Mustfasa, remembers that night and clings to those words and has finally believed them and done something with them.  And I am proud to be a tiny part of that.  And now I'm  hooked and I need my next fix! 

Monday, June 15, 2015

"Why don't he write..." Most re-useable one liner from Dances with Wolves

So, I've been really neglectful of my blog and it made me think of that line from the movie Dances with Wolves.  When the Kevin Costner guy is headed to his post and the disgusting guy who used to be Elton the Painter on Murphy Brown is showing him the way and they come across a skeleton and Elton, he's all "and the folks back home sayin, why don't he write?" !

In no particular order, here are the top ten reasons...

10. Sixth grade math
9. Tenth grade Spanish
8. Facebook
7. Pinterest
6. Two book clubs ( I know!)
5. Viruses
4. Reading for pleasure (possible crossover from #6, not always)
3. Sleeping
2. Online Shopping while not sleeping but after taking Ambien (see also #8 and #7)
1. Orange is the New Black- from the beginning

Also- free life advice- don't walk with a sharp knife in a plastic grocery bag.  (accidentally stabbing myself didn't make the list since it only happened that one time)

Monday, April 20, 2015

I yam what I yam, and that is all I need to be for the ones that I love

Tonight I had dinner with a group of friends who are the dream team of old co-workers who became friends, became family and who know me best and love me anyway.  And it struck me as I sat alongside people who 1. Are not afraid to call me on my shit 2. Pretty much accept all my shit and 3. Trust me with all their shit struck me that these people totally get me and despite that, they appreciate me! And so why would I ever want to spend time with anyone else? Why would I want to hang out with anyone who doesn't laugh their ass off at my admittedly insane antics? Why would I want to waste time talking to someone I have to work to impress or convince of my utter coolness when I've already, for some inexplicable reason, some miracle of fate, got an amazing group of friends who hang on my words (as I do yours!), who find me completely hilarious (as I do you) and who the time spent together is as totally madly enjoyable as it is to me? I have a few segments of friends like this- I always feel beautiful and smart after I've spent time with them.  I feel happy, and cool, and funny- witty and clever and just happy as hell.  So is it just that I've had the great fortune to come across several different groups of amazing people, or is it that I finally realized that these exist in your world if you let them, if you are open to it and receptive to the good juju that these kind of people send your way.  Or is it just that you are so inherently cool, that eventually someone has to appreciate it? Not so much that last one!  But I do feel like there comes a time or two in your life where you have a defining moment of- this, THIS is how I should spend my time.  With these people who get it, love it, and celebrate it!  THIS is how I shall spend my time from now on.  So, for the dream team I love, you all know who you are , my dream team in process, and my tribe of explosive proportions( blowing up Beth's yard!) and can't forget my original homegirls from West Chester - UC represent!   All of this, all of it to say that you all have made me feel beautiful, and funny and clever and wise and effortlessly so.  To have you all make me feel like I am the coolest kid in the room when I'm a big giant dork, it's just amazing to me! And why on earth would I want to spend time with anyone who makes me feel less? I include my ex and future husband, some additional former co- amazingly large group of people who unfathomably think I'm all of these things, who make me feel like I'm the center of the world when I'm with you.  My focus in life shifted on its axis when I realized it tonight - that I should spend more time with you wonderful people who get me and like me despite me- you are the champions and I am humbled in your presence.  And let's go out next week again, ok? Because daily life gets in the way, and I forget sometimes how awesome I am and I need you to remind me! So love out loud, we need to hear it! 

Tuesday, March 17, 2015

Happy making stuff

Hi all- I've been doing a lot of stuff lately that's been making me really happy- but of course, that means less time and focus on writing! Glad to see a few of you have hung out anyway.  One of the main things has been work actually- and if you had told me this a few years ago, that one of the things that would make me stop to count my joy would be work, I would have told you you needed your head examined.  See, I had spent many years at a company where I was always questioned, doubted, examined, under appreciated and blacklisted for not spouting the company line.  To the point that they broke me, I had to take a leave of absence and go on medication to try to put together all the pieces they'd ripped apart over the years until I just broke.  Imagine how incredibly wonderful it is then, for me to now work in a company where employees are not just appreciated, but celebrated, acknowledged and supported.  We're guided, we have obstacles removed when we ask for help and we have development opportunities mapped out for us and are encouraged to look for what we want to do, what our passion and best fit are.  It is very happy making! There will never be a company without red tape, and contention over who should do what, nothing is perfect, but this- this company where I can not only be myself, but that they appreciate that authentic self- that is like a miracle to me.  And it makes me happy every day, going to work and making a difference, and getting to work with such giving and caring people.  If you haven't found that place yet- I am encouraging you to seek it out- it makes a world of difference!  A manager who gets you and let's you work how you work. Best, a team who's always there to support each other and a team who IS a team- having each other's back, always, debating varied view points and loving each other like family.  How do you not find the joy there? It's beautiful to find your place.  It makes everything that much better, sweeter, funnier, easier.  When you find your right place, the frame of the universe goes "click" and it all clicks into place for your happiness.  Seek it, find it and enjoy it! It's rare, but not impossible. 

Thursday, January 15, 2015

Pick up, pick up- It's Bubbe!! It's just who I am

I recently returned from a land down under...where something something and men plunder and something else happens and they just dance and then all share a Vegemite sandwich! Sorry Men at Work... I'm bad at lyrics- it's just who I am! And that brings me to my topic today.  Being who you are, but more importantly appreciating others for who they are.  I realized that my well planned spreadsheet of where we were going and what we were doing never accounted for my favorite part of vacation- the people.  Doreen from New Jersey, there with her family to celebrate her oldest son Blair's birthday and he shared our affinity for the pimp cup light up goblet.  We struck up a conversation because she loved our tiaras ( standard fare at Disney at all and any times) and she was the sweetest, nicest woman with the politest, cutest son!  And then there was the sweet little Jewish Grandma stereotype come to life " pick up, pick up, It's Bubbe!  I need to talk to Stu... Do you think he'd like a sweatshirt? ". And my favorite, the grown up who needed a nap too!  Because Disney will make you feel like a kid again, complete with the burning need for a nap.

 And these are just a few examples of the wonderfulness of people you encounter directly or less so in the course of vacation.  Somewhere a Canadian family will remember that crazy American lady who insisted on paying for their funnel cakes because the magic band system wasn't working and they didn't have much cash on them after we spent 20 minutes in line.  And I know that my daughter Lily and I will never forget the Fantasmic show getting rained out, racing through flooded streets happily splashing along as we were already soaked and getting to the bus back to our resort.  It could easily have been a miserable ride, all soaking wet, but a little boy started singing Christmas carols and a whole bus full of people joined in.  And started new songs and kept going all the way home in one of the greatest for the love of the moment, no pay off expressions of holiday spirit- we felt special and it's brought a tear to my eye and a renewed sense of gratitude that people are generally good, and kind and wonderful.  And here was the spirit of the season in each of us.  And I felt a little lighter knowing that for as much as you hear about people who do terrible thing to others, there are decent good and kind people out there too.  They work hard to be the kind of person you want to run across and have a conversation with about what's good in this world and the little things that make it so.  The time when people ask you to watch their stuff so they can take a little one to the potty- the trust they place in a stranger because you are nice and have honest eyes.  When I look back on this vacation, it's the crossing paths with others and hearing a snippet of their story, a quick cross section moment inherited from their real lives that sticks with me, that fascinates me.  Finding those pockets of commonality and interest with our fellow humans and interacting because or despite of them. When I vacation, and people want to see my favorite picture, it will be this one- the one that shows us how much we are all alike no matter where we're from.  When you're at DisneyWorld, everyone needs a nap!

Saturday, December 6, 2014

These are a few of my favorite things...2014 edition

2014 has been a pretty kick ass year, I have to say.  After 2012 and 2013, there was a lot of uphill territory , because of all the, you know- death, disease, divorce, dating, desertion, devastation, douchebags and all the other bad D-words you can think of!  But 2014? 2014 has been like a magical all better button.  I came back to sanity, put my life back together and had probably the best year of my career. So, with no further ado and no other nonsense either, here is my top ten favorite things list from 2014:

10. Outlander on T.V.
9.  Weekend laziness with family together time
8. Savoring the moments
7. Great company culture
6. Boots-lots of boots
5. Life changing ADD diagnosis
4. Drugs for fixing the ADDs
3. People who are willing to see you, believe in you and support you
2. Love - the real deal, always and forever kind, really really
1. Finding my fierce again

Also- in no particular order- I love- Bare Minerals liquid foundation, Drew Barrymore's entire Flower makeup line, Bobbi Brown cosmetics, Pinterest and Netflicks binge marathons.

That is all.

Sunday, November 16, 2014

Real Housewives of I love Andy Cohen-Mazel! UPDATED- why I want to Work for Andy Cohen

Have you ever watched the Real Housewives? Of Atlanta, Orange County, anywhere that is so not reality?  Those bitches are crazy!!!  But I can't look away, and Andy Cohen is a crazy genius.  I want to put him in my pocket and carry him everywhere and hear his snarky voice, see his fantastic expressions/reactions and have him as a partner in crime.
And how great is his gig? Have you ever seen Watch What Happens Live?  Talking and drinking and playing games? I love when my Andy gets a little tipsy and raunchy!  I know there's way more to it than what we see on the air, but really, it doesn't suck!  I'd love a job where I could drink and make fun of people and get paid!  I mean I do all those things, but the get paid part is separate and I have to do an actual job in addition to making fun of people and drinking- and those not at work... But maybe when I grow up I'll get to meet him and be on his show!  Mazel!

UPDATE:  tonight, I happened upon Watch What Happens Live behind the Scenes.  I really didn't think it was possible to love Andy Cohen any more than I already do- but I was SOOOOO WRONG!  One segment in particular convinced me that I need to work on Andy's show...the doorbell.  Andy gets surprise visitors to the Clubhouse and they ring the doorbell.  The childlike glee and wonderment on Andy's face every time is just the stuff that dreams are made of.  His producers were like" I get to push the button, and it's the best!"  Andy's combination of small child charm and grown up gay man snarky are the engaging joy that makes him a Pop Culture Icon he is.  No one else could pull off his jumping around in manic excitement followed by a dirty innuendo quite the way my Andy does! I want him to be my gay boyfriend and we could go around being joyful and excited and unfreeze Manhattanites hearts! He would be the best person to hang out with and I would be a joyful, snarky cohost!  We'd have the best time Evah!! C'mon Andy, whadda ya say?