I'm not on a tour, I'm not actively writing or editing my book or any other valid reason for re-posting other than I stumbled across my old blog from more than a year ago and this is a. still funny to me and b. still all true (sadly)! Also, only about 3 people read my other blog.
So from the summer of 2010:
You know what I don't get? I don't get how my otherwise
very intelligent children can't understand the words coming out of my mouth when
I tell them such silly little things like:
" Don't stand on the couch" or "Don't put food on the couch" or my all time favorite , "don't throw meat at your sister"! (do you notice that two out of three involve the couch? I don't dare get new furniture until they reach the age of reason- what is that, like 25?) Hunh, I'm still screaming- "you're not allowed on the furniture anymore- you act like a freaking animal!" wow, I apparently have major couch issues... I do worry that my kids will be scarred for life with all the yelling, but seriously- how do they not get that yelling is what I do when they don't listen- so if they would just, I don't know, stop using all my $30 conditioner to mix up potions in the bathroom I would maybe stop having vocal aneurysms.
" Don't stand on the couch" or "Don't put food on the couch" or my all time favorite , "don't throw meat at your sister"! (do you notice that two out of three involve the couch? I don't dare get new furniture until they reach the age of reason- what is that, like 25?) Hunh, I'm still screaming- "you're not allowed on the furniture anymore- you act like a freaking animal!" wow, I apparently have major couch issues... I do worry that my kids will be scarred for life with all the yelling, but seriously- how do they not get that yelling is what I do when they don't listen- so if they would just, I don't know, stop using all my $30 conditioner to mix up potions in the bathroom I would maybe stop having vocal aneurysms.
Maybe you need plastic on the couch? :)
ReplyDeleteI seriously and totally do! I finally understand all of those women with the heavy plastic slipcovers! I just need to figure out where they shop, because I've never seen such a thing-any ideas?
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