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Sunday, June 16, 2013

I am sad. I miss my Dad. A small Seussian message.

Today is my first Father's Day without my Dad.  As many of you may know, he was killed in a freak accident - crushed to death by a tree on 12-12-12.  I am never able to describe it without saying those very dramatic words.  Because it was dramatic and tragic and devestating and changed my world forever.  In ways both terrible but also wonderful.  I miss him so terribly- more so becuase we hadn't had the best relationship in the past few years.  And I'm so sad that I never got the opportunity to get back to a better place with him.  It wasn't that we didn't talk, or didn't see each other, but some anger and resentment had crept in to our relationship and it wasn't the same.  And that breaks my heart.  Because the wonderful thing I find in the wake of this terrible thing is that life is too short.  It's too short to do things you don't love, to be mad at the people you love for old reasons and hurts and too short to not be yourself and love deeply and forgive quickly.  Because life is too damn short and you never know when you'll be crushed to death by a tree.  I don't know who took off his work gloves after they found him, but they put them on a big rock in the middle of my parent's driveway turnaround.  And I left them there as a kind of tribute or memorial.  And over time, they've moved.  The wind has picked them up, the storms have pushed them over and now one of them is missing.  But today, on my first Father's Day without my Dad- this one glove remains, by a flower near that rock.  And it both broke my heart and healed it a little.  Because he is still perservering there in some way.  And he is also being blown about by the wind.  Not literally, because he currently resides on my sister's mantle,  but soon we will sprinkle a little of him there by that glove.  And someday, I will take part of him to Ireland and spriknle him there where he would love to be.  Maybe on the Cliffs of Mohr where the wind blows strong and he can roam. 

 So here is a picture of that glove and a fervent hope that all of you who still have your Dad told him that you loved him today.  And if not, if you are mad at your Dad, if he makes you sad, be glad- be glad that you have your Dad.  And realize that it's not so bad, until he's gone and you are sad.


I miss you Daddy


5 comments:

  1. Well said and I'm so very sorry for your loss. Relationships with our parents can be so complicated and joyful and bothersome and so many other words.
    Hang in there and if you need cheering up (or at least someone stupid (me) to laugh at) stop by and see me. abouthalfabubbleoff.blogspot.com
    Best wishes to you

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much! I'll see you over there!

      Delete
  2. Well said and I'm so very sorry for your loss. Relationships with our parents can be so complicated and joyful and bothersome and so many other words.
    Hang in there and if you need cheering up (or at least someone stupid (me) to laugh at) stop by and see me. abouthalfabubbleoff.blogspot.com
    Best wishes to you

    ReplyDelete
  3. Well said and I'm so very sorry for your loss. Relationships with our parents can be so complicated and joyful and bothersome and so many other words.
    Hang in there and if you need cheering up (or at least someone stupid (me) to laugh at) stop by and see me. abouthalfabubbleoff.blogspot.com
    Best wishes to you

    ReplyDelete
  4. Well said and I'm so very sorry for your loss. Relationships with our parents can be so complicated and joyful and bothersome and so many other words.
    Hang in there and if you need cheering up (or at least someone stupid (me) to laugh at) stop by and see me. abouthalfabubbleoff.blogspot.com
    Best wishes to you

    ReplyDelete